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Recipe for your Marriage ... After Children
published at South Jersey Mom's Magazine, July 2007
Experiencing the birth of a child is absolutely one of life’s greatest gifts, but it can also bring on extreme stress. Partners experience this life transition differently. Here are some ways to help lessen the strain, stress and misunderstanding.
1. Be patient and forgive the mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. A sleep deprived parent, yes; perfect, no.
2. Give suggestions in a loving way without making them mandatory. Be flexible.
3. Remember that there is more than one way to do things.
4. Understand and respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses.
5. Encourage each other daily, honoring your true feelings.
6. Focus on being a team. Ask for what you want and express why it’s important to you.
7. Take turns. There is no gender bias in parenting.
8. Continue to do the things you love, making special time just for you.
9. Build a support team around you to lessen the load and to take a well-deserved break.
10. Have a date night once a week, away from the home. The sooner you begin having dates on a regular basis, the stronger your relationship will become.
11. Schedule a "couple’s away weekend" once a month ideally, once a year realistically.
12. Eliminate unnecessary responsibilities to free yourself up a bit.
13.Talk with your spouse and see what each of you needs back in your life.
14. Discover what new needs you both have as parents and honor them.
15.Create magical moments for each other — flirt!
16. Express your appreciation daily.
17. Be free with compliments and encouragement, making daily deposits in your emotional bank accounts.
18. Make a wish list and talk about it. We would all like our dreams to come true!
19. Make time to be alone together. Create "couple time" at home after the children are in bed.
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