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Recipe for Basic Discipline Tools
published at South Jersey Mom's Magazine, August 2007
Where did we ever get the idea that children do better when they feel worse? Children do better when they feel better!
1. Message of love — separate the love for the child from the discouraged behavior.
2. Ask "what" and "how" questions instead of "why" questions that find fault and point blame.
3. Use supervision and distraction for younger children.
4. Give age appropriate choices.
5. Establish daily routines to eliminate chaos.
6. Use a positive time out allowing the child to come back when they have the answer to what they could do differently next time.
7. Give daily hugs to all age children in your life even those in adult bodies.
8. Follow through 1,000 times and say it once.
9. Act do not talk. Too much talking creates parent deafness.
10. Give encouragement daily. "You can figure it out. Come back with your plan."
11. Commit to not finding fault say "I notice ________" Instead of "Did you ________?"
12. Go beyond the consequences; find solutions together.
13. Use one-word requests.
14. Schedule special time to be with your child alone.
15. Honor your child’s feelings.
16. Take care of yourself. You can’t give to your child something you do not already have for yourself.
17. Responsibility is given not taught.
18. Mistakes are opportunities to learn.
19. Awareness is your best friend.
20. Schedule weekly family meetings. Keeping an agenda on the refrigerator for all to add important and fun issues to cover. Family meetings keep families together and communication lines open.
21. Power lays in your love, not your control.
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